In this episode, Liz and Sarah tell their “origin story” and ask “What’s your story?” They also talk about why it’s actually good to suck at something, and debate whether Sarah’s salt and pepper hair is bold and sexy or totally misguided.
*Reminder: This episode has an explicit rating.
Things we mentioned:
- “Suck at surfing” New York Times article
- Sponsor: Third Love
Get in touch:
- Twitter: @elizabethcraft and @sarahmfain
- Instagram: @LizCraft and @Sfain
- Leave a voicemail: 949-HAPPY-21
- Email us
- Leave a comment below
Love your show and subject matter.
Love what you are doing! So necessary, there are many ways that people ate connected and inter-connected. I have a story, I am born into an old fasioned Italian family. My earliest memories were of a great mom that unfortunately was a singel parent. That was not an easy story for me or my mom, she was old fasioned and devoted to working to keep a roof over our heads. Mom was also a great Italian cook, one day when I was about 5-6, like that, I had the syate of mind to ask, what she would have been if she weren’t working in a factory? She actually looked into her thoughts for a moment, as this was not something she typically did. She was sure of her self and was not a dreamer, but in fact a realist. With that, she stated, “she would be a lawyer, as she loved law, or she would write. That is ehere my life dtarts, her words wete more truer than any words I remember, resonating and wanting to be in her place, in that space, where, she was told by her parents, “these dreams were not possible.”I would be the daughter that would dream, and not listen to the nay sayers, as well as doubters. My life revolves around continous reading, on many different topics and levels. Please feel free to explore any of my social media accounts, FaceBook, Instagram, Linkedin, and Instagram, I hope to hear back.
On the topic of grey hair I want to scream don’t do it! I think the idea it makes us look younger is a story we want to believe but the reality is there are so many tiny details of our appearance defining our age that relying on a little box of colour is not going to fool anyone. When my first two grey hairs showed up I was shocked at the amount of pressure I got to start colouring it. Other than hairdressers who do it for the sake of profit I realized it’s really about the fears around aging that the person speaking has. I will recommend that you read: Going Gray: How to Embrace Your Authentic Self with Grace and Style by Anne Kreamer. It answered a lot of questions and clarified my thinking on the topic. Most of my friends who still dye their hair complain about the time and expense involved, they all say it gets much worse as they get more silver coming in. Almost all of those who grow the colour out say they are glad they did. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Agree with Robin about “Going Gray,” and everything else she said. I stopped coloring two years ago and love my hair (although I hate the expression “salt and pepper.”) You gotta be you. I disagree that you can take 10 years off with hair color. Is anyone really going to think you’re 35?
Sarah, I’m sorry that your friends and professional circle thinks they are entitled to mouth off to you about your hair. While gray (ok, silver) I changed jobs twice, both in male-dominated industries (one was an all male team in a millennial-obsessed company). As my mom says, “you wouldn’t worry so much about what other people think of you if you knew how little they did.”
If you feel bold and powerful showing your experience then rock it. If silver makes you feel insecure and like you’re being tagged “irrelevant” then color. But I think #teamsilver needs a few players like you.
LOVE “Suck at something” as a concept. Looking forward to the read. I’ve always said (Hey, it’s part of my story!) that “I burn water.” Sucking at cooking my whole life made it easy for me to take chances when I changed my life with Whole30 in 2016. Next up? A cookbook. What?!? I know. The things you learn when you let yourself suck!
On haircolor, I’m all about being unapologetic in your YOUness, whatever shape that takes. It’s the uneasiness others feel about *your* lack of okay-with-it-ness that is unpleasant. So if you’re okay with it, there’s nothing to judge! Or at least there shouldn’t be. 😉
Oh sweet JEEBUS the, “I’ll give it six months,” on being in LA thing. It takes a decade. Period.
Go, Jane, on the Fuck Hack indeed! 🙂
Enjoying the show. Thanks!
Growing up, my mom colored her hair on the third Thursday of every month. It was just a given. So, as I grew older and noticed my first grey hairs, I started coloring it once a month because that’s just what was done. But I hated it. It took a lot of time and money and commitment. After about the third month, my husband told me on his own how much he disliked the color. He loved my sparkly grey hairs and felt they were a sign of wisdom, caring, and love. I was so relieved to realize that I didn’t have follow some prescribed beauty regimen. I could be my authentic self and do what made me happy which, as a bonus, made my husband happy too because he loves me for all that I am.
I must say I had an immediate response to your conversation on dyeing hair. I am shocked and appalled that ANYONE would think they have a right or necessity to voice their opinion about something that is yours alone to decide to do (or not do). The snot in me would love to bite back to this type of criticism with at stab at something imperfect in that person and suggestions on how they could also fix themselves to “give them a taste of their own medicine” if you will. Alas, that is neither productive nor appropriate. I really believe that all of those unsolicited “suggestions” to do something different stem from the speakers’ in securities and have very little to do with you.
I resisted dying my hair when it started to go “silver”. In the end I did it for my daughter. I’m an older mom and people were always asking her if I was her grandmother. They stopped asking after I dyed it. Made my daughter happy.
Amen! I was oddly really moved by your passion to keep your silvers! I’m in my 30s and have been sprouting whites since I was 16. I still haven’t made the move and I want to!!!!! A few beauticians have told me “NOT YET” and I haven’t made the leap, but you’re right, it takes so much courage and I commend you. I’m in advertising and moonlight as a screenwriter (until I make my move to LA, this year <3 ) and even in advertising, white hair is quite taboo unless it's like super chic and cost a grand to maintain – maybe one day. But huzzah to you!
When my husband got fired from his job, by an overzealous and greedy boss, I decided I was going to write a TV pilot. This kept my mind off of the fact we were about to live on food stamps, have utilities cut off and most likely lose our home. I needed a comedy, and since I only had a tragedy, I created the laughs I desperately needed. This is what idealist do. This was less than five months ago. And, “Happier in Hollywood” is now my favorite podcast. Found you while scrolling wildly through Twitter, and it must have been fate. Thanks for your wisdom for the other baby screenwriters out there. Even the lives of the S&P!